Well, it's been a while since last I posted so I figured I'd do a little recap of the last few months.
Stopped liking that one girl I was dating.
Started up a new campaign in a world I've been thinking about a lot lately.
Started reading again.
Oh yeah... thanksgiving -- and the stupidest thing I've done in a long, long time.
Origami
Followed by the plane ride to Washington for Christmas and the girl I met on that flight.
The medical exam
Swearing in
And getting a date.
Yeah... that last one is even more exciting than it sounds, I promise. I'm leaving Provo... finally. I started on the whole Coast Guard thing last January well... really it was when I was in Washington last year that I decided it. A chance remark by my brother, we were in the car driving somewhere and the subject of where we thought everyone was going to be when we got older... back when we were younger. Andy said he thought I'd be in the military. Little did he know at that point I'd already decided to join the CG (a day or two before). So now I have a little over a month before I am IN.
Next, I would like to mention the girl I met on the flight to Washington. I'm not in the habit of using real names in public places, well, without permission, so we'll call her... Shara. Over the past month and a half I discovered that I had grown very fond of Shara. I value her insight, her opinion and look forward to the time we spend together. That makes it sound so dry, it's not dry really... I just don't know how to express emotions very well. The other day she decided that she didn't intend to exclusively date me before I left. And in what is beginning to be far too common a circumstance, only after this point did I let myself feel.
Some things hurt, and I can handle them... the thing that hurt the most was that she said I didn't make her want to be a better person. And I know why... I've stopped trying really, my life has been in a stasis this past year... and I need to come out of that shell. To that effect I have created a list of goals. Not new years resolutions... but things I can and should do. Time to get on those.
Speaking in Tongues
Excuse the horrible grammar, I just typed.
Ittai nani watashi wa kangaete imasu? Nai kanoona hoohoo wa, kono tame ni mo shuuryoo suru kotodesu. Watashi wa kanojo no ruumumeito ga watashi o suki ni narushi, mieru koto wa dekimasenga jigoku no mikomi ga nai to, watashi wa sore ga jijitsudaga, kanojo o kakutoku dekiru yoo ni suru tsumoridesu. Watashi wa itami o motomerudarou ka? Watashi no mochibeeshon wa kokodesu ka? Moshi watashi wa, sore o otoshi tari, sore wa watashi ni dake osore ga hanashite iru? Jeshii watashi wa anata to nani o subeki ka? Subete watashi ga shitai kanojo to issho ni jikan o tsuiyashite iru, sore wa seikaku ni watashi ga dekinai monodesu. Naze watashi wa koko ni fuman gozenshin wa watashi ni heiwa o ataeru koto ga dekiru, dono yoona heiwa no hoka no soosu kara watashi ga hitsuyoodesu ka?
And now that is out of my system... I would like to publicly thank the Lord for his Tender Mercies.
Ittai nani watashi wa kangaete imasu? Nai kanoona hoohoo wa, kono tame ni mo shuuryoo suru kotodesu. Watashi wa kanojo no ruumumeito ga watashi o suki ni narushi, mieru koto wa dekimasenga jigoku no mikomi ga nai to, watashi wa sore ga jijitsudaga, kanojo o kakutoku dekiru yoo ni suru tsumoridesu. Watashi wa itami o motomerudarou ka? Watashi no mochibeeshon wa kokodesu ka? Moshi watashi wa, sore o otoshi tari, sore wa watashi ni dake osore ga hanashite iru? Jeshii watashi wa anata to nani o subeki ka? Subete watashi ga shitai kanojo to issho ni jikan o tsuiyashite iru, sore wa seikaku ni watashi ga dekinai monodesu. Naze watashi wa koko ni fuman gozenshin wa watashi ni heiwa o ataeru koto ga dekiru, dono yoona heiwa no hoka no soosu kara watashi ga hitsuyoodesu ka?
And now that is out of my system... I would like to publicly thank the Lord for his Tender Mercies.
Homeless
(Like the Christchild was)
Well, in a truly nomadic way, I was homeless, but now I have found a home. In this particular home I have decided to change my 'name' that I present to people. Thus, Xander is born. His birth was pretty easy, and even makes a kind of sense.
Visit if you like, I'll probably be phasing this out, as I phase out 'cam' from my life.
On another note, I would like to thank everyone for their support after my last post. It's good to have friends, and to be reminded how many people care for us.
Well, in a truly nomadic way, I was homeless, but now I have found a home. In this particular home I have decided to change my 'name' that I present to people. Thus, Xander is born. His birth was pretty easy, and even makes a kind of sense.
Visit if you like, I'll probably be phasing this out, as I phase out 'cam' from my life.
On another note, I would like to thank everyone for their support after my last post. It's good to have friends, and to be reminded how many people care for us.
Feelings
I know this post is likely to be unfair to certain individuals. I realize that in advance, but there has been a need inside of me, a desire for some world I wish I could find. And I can't, I can't find it, I truely am lost and I have no idea how to find myself again.
First, I'm terribly, terribly broke and in debt. To the point that I am homeless, because I cannot afford my bills. I don't know how I could possibly add a rent payment on top of that debt considering how hard it would be to find an apt in the first place. I suppose what I really need to do is go full time at work. I don't want to do that, I'm not sure i could handle it to be honest... but maybe I could do it.I don't like doing difficult things and this is something that would be difficult for me... to go to a job and work in that mindnumbing fulness. My body might survive... but would my spirit?
Do I even have a spirit left? I feel devoid of life, frittering time away because I have nothing of value to contribue to the world. I feel worthless. I think more than anything else that is what bothers me, I don't feel like I do anything of value at work, I don't feel as though I do anything of value outside of work, and I'm stuck, stuck in a life where I have denied myself anything that would give me pleasure because it could possibly back fire on me and make me sad, and in doing that, I've become sad. Disconsolate really.
I don't want anyone else to read this post, I suppose I could just save it as a draft and not send it out into the cosmos... but really... I don't think I will, because most of all this is a plee for help. A deseperate plee to the universe to save me from myself to allow me to cease to exist. How I long for oblivion, for a place where I do not think, I do not feel, I do not exist. No, I'm not suicidal, but that is only because I cannot let myself believe that it would end there. I can't believe that it would solve anything, but oh how I wish it could.
Lately I have had that crisis of belief, the one where the part of me that believes fights with the part of me that doesn't want to believe anymore, that wants to just give up and slide into darkness. I look at the world around me, the people who are accomplishing something and I fear for my ability to be part of this world. I don't feel like I belong here, I don't know if there is anywhere that I do belong, I can't anymore, I can't have the hope that somewhere there is a place where I fit, where I match up with the universes expectations of me.
I have been staying at some friend's place, and tonight they told me it wouldn't be fair for me to stay here on the management of the apt. Because this is technically only a six person apt and there are noweffectually seven people that live here. I want to run away, I wanto hide, but I don't know where I could go to do that. I don't have any avenues to turn to where I could possibly be free, free of these chains that bind me. i don't want anyone else to save me, I don't want to ask for help, I don't even want help to come, I just want to stop, to stop being this person that I am. I entertain people, but I don't connect with them, I don't have deep, meaningful conversations with anyone, I don't feel anything anymore, just a memory of things I used to feel, emotions I used to belive in. Hopes and positions I used to have. I don't have them anymore, I don't have anything, just an empty shell.
Well, this isn't actually helping me as much as I would hope so... I'm going to go to bed now.
First, I'm terribly, terribly broke and in debt. To the point that I am homeless, because I cannot afford my bills. I don't know how I could possibly add a rent payment on top of that debt considering how hard it would be to find an apt in the first place. I suppose what I really need to do is go full time at work. I don't want to do that, I'm not sure i could handle it to be honest... but maybe I could do it.I don't like doing difficult things and this is something that would be difficult for me... to go to a job and work in that mindnumbing fulness. My body might survive... but would my spirit?
Do I even have a spirit left? I feel devoid of life, frittering time away because I have nothing of value to contribue to the world. I feel worthless. I think more than anything else that is what bothers me, I don't feel like I do anything of value at work, I don't feel as though I do anything of value outside of work, and I'm stuck, stuck in a life where I have denied myself anything that would give me pleasure because it could possibly back fire on me and make me sad, and in doing that, I've become sad. Disconsolate really.
I don't want anyone else to read this post, I suppose I could just save it as a draft and not send it out into the cosmos... but really... I don't think I will, because most of all this is a plee for help. A deseperate plee to the universe to save me from myself to allow me to cease to exist. How I long for oblivion, for a place where I do not think, I do not feel, I do not exist. No, I'm not suicidal, but that is only because I cannot let myself believe that it would end there. I can't believe that it would solve anything, but oh how I wish it could.
Lately I have had that crisis of belief, the one where the part of me that believes fights with the part of me that doesn't want to believe anymore, that wants to just give up and slide into darkness. I look at the world around me, the people who are accomplishing something and I fear for my ability to be part of this world. I don't feel like I belong here, I don't know if there is anywhere that I do belong, I can't anymore, I can't have the hope that somewhere there is a place where I fit, where I match up with the universes expectations of me.
I have been staying at some friend's place, and tonight they told me it wouldn't be fair for me to stay here on the management of the apt. Because this is technically only a six person apt and there are noweffectually seven people that live here. I want to run away, I wanto hide, but I don't know where I could go to do that. I don't have any avenues to turn to where I could possibly be free, free of these chains that bind me. i don't want anyone else to save me, I don't want to ask for help, I don't even want help to come, I just want to stop, to stop being this person that I am. I entertain people, but I don't connect with them, I don't have deep, meaningful conversations with anyone, I don't feel anything anymore, just a memory of things I used to feel, emotions I used to belive in. Hopes and positions I used to have. I don't have them anymore, I don't have anything, just an empty shell.
Well, this isn't actually helping me as much as I would hope so... I'm going to go to bed now.
Realities of Life
Perhaps I am avoiding them. But I've come to realize that a lot of the things I thought were very important simply aren't anymore. I know she is thinking of it... and I remember how I felt so long ago, seven years is a long time to change.
In seven years the Third Reich rose, and fell. I've been thinking about world war two a lot lately. I wonder what I would have done when faced with the draft, with the destruction, the rationing. I'm not sure I could have made it, I wonder how we could possibly forget the pain of our grandfather's.
I'm not sure what I'm saying anymore, I would like to give Alpine a try. I guess I hope she's willing to do the same.
In seven years the Third Reich rose, and fell. I've been thinking about world war two a lot lately. I wonder what I would have done when faced with the draft, with the destruction, the rationing. I'm not sure I could have made it, I wonder how we could possibly forget the pain of our grandfather's.
I'm not sure what I'm saying anymore, I would like to give Alpine a try. I guess I hope she's willing to do the same.
Lent
So, I decided today that I'm going to give something up for Lent. To most of the world, I'm giving up chocolate. But really... I'm giving up escape.
All the forms that I use to escape the world, lies, truth, games, fear.
I just don't know how to give of myself, I've never opened enough to let someone else in. I'm afraid I'm going to end up alone simply because I don't know how to let myself be vulnerable.
I have no idea where to turn... I don't know what to do anymore.
All the forms that I use to escape the world, lies, truth, games, fear.
I just don't know how to give of myself, I've never opened enough to let someone else in. I'm afraid I'm going to end up alone simply because I don't know how to let myself be vulnerable.
I have no idea where to turn... I don't know what to do anymore.
Drifting.
I'm drifting now. I'm not sure where to go. I thought I had a course, the sails were tacked, the rudder set. How could I be derailed so horribly? Six months. Six months.
Eight months and now I'm lost at sea.
This has been a trying last two weeks. I'm going to try and enumerate a few of the reasons why...
I have recently begun trying to get my life in order. This requires that I give up a lot of the escape methods I use for comfort. To compound this I recently discovered that I have/had a stronger emotional attachment to my best friend. This of course is problematic as I can't go and talk to her about some of these problems and I can't go to my alternative for support. I have felt very much as though there was no place I could turn. And more than anything else that is what hurt, feeling alone.
On top of all of this, I've been told something I thought was happening in May isn't going to happen until October (at the earliest), if at all. Perhaps I'm just being a little parinoid, but I can't handle this job that long, so I'm going to need to find something else to do. What do I do? Where do I turn? I know I should be able to find comfort in God, but sometimes I need an actual person as well.
I just want to run away from the world and hide in some 'cavity of a rock' until the end of the world.
Eight months and now I'm lost at sea.
This has been a trying last two weeks. I'm going to try and enumerate a few of the reasons why...
I have recently begun trying to get my life in order. This requires that I give up a lot of the escape methods I use for comfort. To compound this I recently discovered that I have/had a stronger emotional attachment to my best friend. This of course is problematic as I can't go and talk to her about some of these problems and I can't go to my alternative for support. I have felt very much as though there was no place I could turn. And more than anything else that is what hurt, feeling alone.
On top of all of this, I've been told something I thought was happening in May isn't going to happen until October (at the earliest), if at all. Perhaps I'm just being a little parinoid, but I can't handle this job that long, so I'm going to need to find something else to do. What do I do? Where do I turn? I know I should be able to find comfort in God, but sometimes I need an actual person as well.
I just want to run away from the world and hide in some 'cavity of a rock' until the end of the world.
To be happy.
I've had this scripture running through my head all week, well, there have been a lot of them, but this is one of them.
Lately, I've started doing those things which I know I should be doing, I've been getting my life in order. This happens every time... life always becomes the worst right as I start to do that. But this time I'm prepared, I will survive this, I will come through it stronger.
Satan, do your worst, for I shall do mine.
Men are that they might have Joy.This past Monday for FHE we all shared our favorite scriptures. In the course of the past two days a goodly portion of them have come to mind and have filled me with peace and hope. Today: "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." After which, "The son of man hath descended below them all, art thou greater than he?"
Lately, I've started doing those things which I know I should be doing, I've been getting my life in order. This happens every time... life always becomes the worst right as I start to do that. But this time I'm prepared, I will survive this, I will come through it stronger.
Satan, do your worst, for I shall do mine.
Thinking on paper
So, today I had a conversation that felt like a DTR... it wasn't though... not REALLY, it kinda was though. The problem is that I have no idea what I want in this situation, so this is me thinking on paper.
Do I like her? Of course I like her, but do I like her like that? I'm not really sure, what does that mean? What do you want from her? I pretty much just want it where it is right now... but maybe with me eight feet north. That would change things. So... that would fit into what she said she wanted. Wouldn't it? I mean, I'm leaving... she's leaving. It isn't going to go any further than that. Would it go further if you were 8 feet north? I'm not sure. And what about California? That's no good, I mean, there is no way that could go any where, not in four months. Is that how much time I have left... four months? Three maybe. But old man winter said California might suit me. Might, maybe, but would that be fair? At least I could be me in California, for a few months... and then what? Off to shoe repair and never to return? How is that fair? Maybe that's what works with Jelly, we both have an expiration. But could we still be friends? We could try it... would she? Probably not, but that's what I want, status 2. You know what the worst part is? Those commercials the church used to show, about marrying your best friend. Jelly wouldn't have seen those, you know how it goes Cam, you should be accustomed to order of appearance first. But I can hope, hope that it could have been, if I ask and it's a no I lose even that. Sometimes, I wish there wasn't a dead man switch here. I'm so tired of holding it down.
Well, if that makes any sense to you at all... congratulations. Those are my thoughts directly as they came from my head, but man, I forget how obfuscating my mind can be.
Do I like her? Of course I like her, but do I like her like that? I'm not really sure, what does that mean? What do you want from her? I pretty much just want it where it is right now... but maybe with me eight feet north. That would change things. So... that would fit into what she said she wanted. Wouldn't it? I mean, I'm leaving... she's leaving. It isn't going to go any further than that. Would it go further if you were 8 feet north? I'm not sure. And what about California? That's no good, I mean, there is no way that could go any where, not in four months. Is that how much time I have left... four months? Three maybe. But old man winter said California might suit me. Might, maybe, but would that be fair? At least I could be me in California, for a few months... and then what? Off to shoe repair and never to return? How is that fair? Maybe that's what works with Jelly, we both have an expiration. But could we still be friends? We could try it... would she? Probably not, but that's what I want, status 2. You know what the worst part is? Those commercials the church used to show, about marrying your best friend. Jelly wouldn't have seen those, you know how it goes Cam, you should be accustomed to order of appearance first. But I can hope, hope that it could have been, if I ask and it's a no I lose even that. Sometimes, I wish there wasn't a dead man switch here. I'm so tired of holding it down.
Well, if that makes any sense to you at all... congratulations. Those are my thoughts directly as they came from my head, but man, I forget how obfuscating my mind can be.
Wanting what I can't have
I have this bad habit of wanting things that I know I can't have. This is particularly evident when it comes to girls, if she's mentally unable to be in a relationship, has a boyfriend, or out of my league: I'm in love.
I really need to break this cycle, but I have no idea how... I'm so afraid of letting people in that I only allow people in who I know can't let me in.
As I think about this topic, I know how stupid this is, how widespread it is. Everyone is always looking for the next big thing, they are always looking over the fence at that green grass over there...
I really need to break this cycle, but I have no idea how... I'm so afraid of letting people in that I only allow people in who I know can't let me in.
As I think about this topic, I know how stupid this is, how widespread it is. Everyone is always looking for the next big thing, they are always looking over the fence at that green grass over there...
Owl City
I feel like there is so much to say, and yet... so little. Really, nothing has changed in the past few months. Except for inside me. There is a determination in my head, that means something WILL happen I'm setting things in motion for a life that I've always thought about, but never set foot down. It's going to be difficult, I'm going to be far older than the rest of the people, I'm not where I should be physically for it, but... something about it gives a rightness to all my thoughts and dreams that I know I'm heading in the right direction.
I do not need to see the end, only the step ahead, and I'm taking that step with faith that there will be enough light to see one more step after that, and if it comes to the point that I'm walking into the darkness at least I know I won't be walking alone.
I do not need to see the end, only the step ahead, and I'm taking that step with faith that there will be enough light to see one more step after that, and if it comes to the point that I'm walking into the darkness at least I know I won't be walking alone.
Course, plotted.
Assuming they will have me, I now know where I am heading in the next few months. Our last few scripture studies have been focused on dealing with the issues of making decisions, and I've made mine. I feel good about it.
I'm somewhat afraid to tell people, no, I'm terrified of it. And as I'm firmly of the opinion that information like this should be relayed in person before it is adapted for online discussion I'm not going to say what the actual decision is yet. Only that I charted the course.
When I think of a Nomad, I think of someone who wanders hither and thither as the wind blows. But I suppose that's not how it actually went, they probably followed a course, they followed the food. They went where they had to go in order to survive and I suppose I'm doing just that. I just hope I can finish.
I'm somewhat afraid to tell people, no, I'm terrified of it. And as I'm firmly of the opinion that information like this should be relayed in person before it is adapted for online discussion I'm not going to say what the actual decision is yet. Only that I charted the course.
When I think of a Nomad, I think of someone who wanders hither and thither as the wind blows. But I suppose that's not how it actually went, they probably followed a course, they followed the food. They went where they had to go in order to survive and I suppose I'm doing just that. I just hope I can finish.
A thesis.
I had a thought today as I watched Ameile, towards the end. It made me think of myself, and the words of my favorite prophet of the past came to mind:
I do not wander because I am looking for a home, I wander because home is where ever I wander.
The time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream, we being a lonesome and a solemn people, wanders, cast out from [our home], born in tribulation, in a wilderness, and hated of our brethren...wherefore, we did mourn out our days.Wandering is going to be the theme of this blog. I recently read The Alchemist, in the book it talks about how we all must search for our personal legends. I have come to discover a limitation in myself, a point past which I can go no further. I am unsure if this limit is to be with me until I shed this mortal coil, but I do not think it matters either way. Somehow I must learn to turn lead into gold, and that is what this blog will be about.
I do not wander because I am looking for a home, I wander because home is where ever I wander.
A movie quiz I made for work
1) "You say the world doesn't need a savior, but every day I hear them calling out for one."
Superman Returns
Spiderman 2
The X-Men
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
2) "Whose afraid of a big, bad bat!"
Dark Knight
Batman Forever
Batman and Robin
Batman
3) The line: "I have a big head, and little hands. I just don't think this plan was very well thought out." appears in what movie?
______________________
4) Carrie Fisher has appeared in movies with each of the following movie stars except...
Tom Hanks
Val Kilmer
Robin Williams
Kevin Costner
5) The song, "Over the Rainbow" appears in all of the movies except...
Meet Joe Black
Finding Forrester
French Kiss
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
6) "This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story."
500 Days of Summer
My Girl
Interview with a Vampire
50 First Dates
7) "That's no moon, that's a space station?" appears in all these movies, except...
Twister
Star Wars: A New Hope
Dr. Strangelove, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb
Space Balls
8) Which of the following is not a name of a character Kristen Stewart has played?
Maddy
Sophie
Tracy
Becky
9) Which of the following is not a real movie:
Adventureland
Wonderland
Disneyland
Dreamland
10) "Have you found Jesus yet, *name*?"
"I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir."
We Were Soldiers
Letters to Iwo Jima
Forrest Gump
Hart's War
11) "I shall go down in history as the man who opened a door."
Everafter
Keymaster
Neverending Story
Italian Job
12) "What!? Honest to blog?"
Smart People
Juno
Lars and the Real Girl
Knocked Up
13) "I do anything and everything *name* requires. Including, occasionally, taking out the trash."
Batman Begins
Ironman
Superman Returns
Spiderman
14) "You killed the bishop!"
Three Musketeers
Man in the Iron Mask
Casanova
Stardust
15) Which of the following movies does Sean Astin not star in?
50 First Dates
Goonies
Forever Strong
The Good Son
16) Which actress got her start in a 1980's coming of age movie about a boy who disappears for 10 years?
Sarah Jessica Parker
Drew Berrymore
Nicole Kidman
Sandra Bullock
Superman Returns
Spiderman 2
The X-Men
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
2) "Whose afraid of a big, bad bat!"
Dark Knight
Batman Forever
Batman and Robin
Batman
3) The line: "I have a big head, and little hands. I just don't think this plan was very well thought out." appears in what movie?
______________________
4) Carrie Fisher has appeared in movies with each of the following movie stars except...
Tom Hanks
Val Kilmer
Robin Williams
Kevin Costner
5) The song, "Over the Rainbow" appears in all of the movies except...
Meet Joe Black
Finding Forrester
French Kiss
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
6) "This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story."
500 Days of Summer
My Girl
Interview with a Vampire
50 First Dates
7) "That's no moon, that's a space station?" appears in all these movies, except...
Twister
Star Wars: A New Hope
Dr. Strangelove, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb
Space Balls
8) Which of the following is not a name of a character Kristen Stewart has played?
Maddy
Sophie
Tracy
Becky
9) Which of the following is not a real movie:
Adventureland
Wonderland
Disneyland
Dreamland
10) "Have you found Jesus yet, *name*?"
"I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir."
We Were Soldiers
Letters to Iwo Jima
Forrest Gump
Hart's War
11) "I shall go down in history as the man who opened a door."
Everafter
Keymaster
Neverending Story
Italian Job
12) "What!? Honest to blog?"
Smart People
Juno
Lars and the Real Girl
Knocked Up
13) "I do anything and everything *name* requires. Including, occasionally, taking out the trash."
Batman Begins
Ironman
Superman Returns
Spiderman
14) "You killed the bishop!"
Three Musketeers
Man in the Iron Mask
Casanova
Stardust
15) Which of the following movies does Sean Astin not star in?
50 First Dates
Goonies
Forever Strong
The Good Son
16) Which actress got her start in a 1980's coming of age movie about a boy who disappears for 10 years?
Sarah Jessica Parker
Drew Berrymore
Nicole Kidman
Sandra Bullock
Not all those who wander are lost.
I've been thinking a lot about the name of this blog, and what that symbolizes for me.
I got it from some neighbors at the beginning of the semester, I told them about my life and they accused me of being a bum. I didn't really like that as much as nomad, which was also suggested, so I opted for that. Sometimes I wish I had a home, a place to call my own.
Instead, I fear I will wander this world, adrift on the sands of time, until I shed this mortal coil. It's not so bad, I just need figure out how keep everyone warm until i leave.
I got it from some neighbors at the beginning of the semester, I told them about my life and they accused me of being a bum. I didn't really like that as much as nomad, which was also suggested, so I opted for that. Sometimes I wish I had a home, a place to call my own.
Instead, I fear I will wander this world, adrift on the sands of time, until I shed this mortal coil. It's not so bad, I just need figure out how keep everyone warm until i leave.
And so, I pass into the west
And footsore, worn and weary
Find that shore,
Looking to the dying sun
And walking on water pass
from here to there,
and into the golden sunset
I'll follow you down
when the sun enters
the deep blue once again.
A day of Infamy.
Sixty Eight years ago today(technically yesterday I suppose), Admiral Yamamoto launched his surprise attack on America, attempting to force America out of the war. It obviously didn't work, and America joined both the Pacific and European theatres. President Roosevelt gave a speech, on the 8th of December, 1941 in it he declared December 7th a date of infamy. It has become a common reference to the attack. I refereed to today with that appellation, and at least three, college age adults, with some college education asked me what I meant.
I guess infamy only lasts a couple decades. When will we forget September 11th? Have we already?
And I end, with one of my favorite quotations.
I guess infamy only lasts a couple decades. When will we forget September 11th? Have we already?
And I end, with one of my favorite quotations.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate...we can not consecrate...we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government: of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
