Drifting.

I'm drifting now.  I'm not sure where to go. I thought I had a course, the sails were tacked, the rudder set. How could I be derailed so horribly?  Six months.  Six months.

Eight months and now I'm lost at sea.

This has been a trying last two weeks. I'm going to try and enumerate a few of the reasons why...

I have recently begun trying to get my life in order.  This requires that I give up a lot of the escape methods I use for comfort. To compound this I recently discovered that I have/had a stronger emotional attachment to my best friend. This of course is problematic as I can't go and talk to her about some of these problems and I can't go to my alternative for support. I have felt very much as though there was no place I could turn.  And more than anything else that is what hurt, feeling alone.

On top of all of this, I've been told something I thought was happening in May isn't going to happen until October (at the earliest), if at all.  Perhaps I'm just being a little parinoid, but I can't handle this job that long, so I'm going to need to find something else to do.  What do I do?  Where do I turn? I know I should be able to find comfort in God, but sometimes I need an actual person as well.

I just want to run away from the world and hide in some 'cavity of a rock' until the end of the world.